The Wardo worship


This is Wardo wearing his famous transparent white shirt that forces pupils to see his nipples.

This is a special page dedicated to a special person. Namely, Mr J Ward. He is a philosophy teacher at Bishop-Luffa school. His classes are different to others in that you won't loathe going to the lesson because it is fun. (Similar in this respect are classes by Mr C Worth (probably surfing somewhere at the moment. Possibly in the classroom.).)
In fact you will have two years of great fun because not only is Wardo himself better than any comic in the entire stand-up scene, but the people who do the course are generally humourous and interesting. As an added bonus Wardy will probably teach you something about philosophy. This is good. It may even be your main reason for doing the course, if you are a boff, that is... or a girl. But even if it isn't you should mention this part to your parents as the prospect of actually enjoying your A-level lessons may not be the sort of thing that appeals to the more senior, and perhaps, more psychotic generation.

Although many pupils do miss lessons (due to extended spells in clinics), last year a record low of just 15% of students were intoxicated at any point during the lesson.

In a balanced and fair way each lesson is divided into half vaguely serious work and half Wardy and his pupils amusing themselves. To demonstrate the bizarre strangeness of Wardy's stories we assembled a list of quotes that honestly, slightly, possibly relate to philosophy in some small, minute way.

In case anyone needed reminding, here is more proof that humans share 99% of their DNA with monkeys.

This is what Wardy says...

"Money doesn't necessarily add up to sex".

"I had 25 pairs of pants but I wore them out on helter-skelters".

"If I were to come home and find that my dad had died. What would be wrong if say, I ate him?". (This is actually directly related to a fundamental ethical philosophical question and you will have to revise this quote for the exam)

"I'd love to sleep with Marx. I could use his beard as a mattress".

" I put a big spear through your stomach and your breakfast comes out mingled with blood. Then a manx cat comes along and eats it."

"Don't worry I'm a sadomasochist. I've got my liver semi-fried in my pocket. Would you like to try a bit?"

"Would he purchase supermarket bargains such as 20p bread or would he refuse on the grounds that he was the Antichrist."

Click on this for the massssiivvveee!!!!! picture of the whole class of '99!!!!

Any death threats? Hate mail? Then E-Mail: LTJ
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