Dodman's rock bread
Within this page we reveal the secrets of the fabled rock bread of Dodman,
the ancient mystic.
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Nicolias of Broadbent (more commonly known as Dodman) was an ancient,
mystic old man who lived several thousand years ago. He had a beard several
foot long.
One day when he was walking in the mountains and was weak from lack of
food he saw a medium sized rock. Thinking that it looked nourishing (full
of minerals and stuff), he decided to use his mystical skills to turn
it into bread. After several days he managed to transform a rock into
a bread-like rock. He ate it. And lived.
Delighted at his genius, he passed down the secret of its creation to
his descendants and it is still made by one of them today.
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Dodman's rock bread has a rocklike outer shell. However with just a couple
moments use of a pneumatic drill (or mystic staff) this crust can be breached
to reveal the inner "bread". This "bread", despite being
sieve-like (anything you spread on it - such as butter, margarine, jam, or Marmite
- will fall through), is somehow very tastious. At least as tastious as say
- normal bread; if not more so. It is for this reason that 67% of LTJ has been
suckled on this bread since they were only tiny babies. |
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Many believe that this bread of Dodman is a living organism and that, if eaten,
has healing properties. It is for this reason that people have been known to
rummage in dustbins for remnants of crust, or even steal whole loaves.
Dodman's rock bread is best toasted (on the highest setting) with several hoards
of butter.
It can also double-up as an offensive weapon. It is believed that dwarfs use
a variant of rock "bread" as missiles.
We eat it everyday for breakfast.
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Igneous rock "bread". After another 5,000,000 years
at the center of earths core this will taste nice with marmalade. |
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